31st January 2015

So the last chance for the remaining crews to get their cars scrutineered today and we were given a great place to undertake this task, under one of the reception arches of Raffles, this exclusive use of the area is proving an annoyance to the worlds rich and famous with untold new bentleys and Lamborghinis being turned away to make way for our hilux!

It's been a long day, 1st problem of the day was the SS from yesterday with yet another fuel problem, it seemed to have dumped all the new fuel obtained yesterday due to some iffy fitted unions, so much fuel is now on the floor of the raffles car park that they will have to reprint some of the White lines as they are now gone!  Other problems have been repairing a starter motor, fitting yet more mudflaps, a clutch and steering problem on a volvo Amazon, not Ludvigs I may add, we even repaired a leaking Jerry can for Paul merryweather so a good but extremely hot day, now on the lookout for the competitors whom haven't returned our borrowed tools.

We are in Raffles, the iconic colonial hotel with Michelin starred chefs and all manner of exotic eateries so we decided to have a McDonalds for lunch, and it didn't cost a quadzillion pounds to eat there!

We are so classy!

Just off to the competitors briefing now and there is a strict blue shirt rule so I'm going the extra mile and actually ironing my shirt, it's quite thick and in these temperatures I imagine this pale blue shirt will become dark blue in certain areas, probably within 3 seconds of leaving the air conditioned room!

So arrive at the briefing, darkened patches have arrived but a last minute issue with a mercedes window fallen out meant I had to work in my pants as I have limited clothing and didn't want to get my recently ironed shirt dirty and my shorts were of the smart variety, so a semi naked fat mechanic outside the main entrance to Raffles hotel surrounded by mega rich tourists was definitely not a normal sight!  I never had being a skimpily clad Adonis outside an iconic landmark being on my bucket list but I retrospectively put it in now and have a massive tick next to it, oh and the mercedes is fixed!

Mercedes fixed and duties done it's now off to the the welcome dinner, Owen and I decided to go sit in a competitors table just to mix it up a bit and ended up having a great time, I had heard that Owen had given a talk on behalf of the mechanics and for what I'm told it was simply brilliant, I don't think any of the competitors will be taking the piss out of the sweeps after that, either Owen has now laid the foundations for a brilliant relationship with the competitors or we are about to have a four week holiday as they will be too scared to ask us for anything!

Last part of the night was spent in a bar called Lock, stock and a barrel, much cheaper beer here but a relatively early night now ready for the big off tomorrow!

J

30th January 2015, no fuel and mudflaps

After an early night having yet bought some more expensive beer $15 a small bottle and loads of shrimps/prawns and a Thai green curry last night, a relatively early night was had by most, some of the sweeps and Ed stayed out late playing pool and singing karaoke.  A meeting was scheduled at 9am for the doctors to give out information regarding any potential issues ranging from dealing with malaria, injuries and basic looking after yourselves etc, then on to John Spiller our esteemed clerk of the course to give us the overall picture of what we will be doing over the next few weeks. Map books, route books and IDs have now been handed out to the staff complete with correct phone numbers and names!

I've been moved to another room, on my own as it was apparent that my snoring was keeping Owen awake this morning and as 5 competitors haven't turned up then there's an abundance of rooms for the staff, I'm now on the 18th floor looking directly over the F1 circuit, the circuit that I'm apparently running at 8 in the morning!

I digress, a team meeting at 9 went without a hitch and then it was the day of the car collection so a taxi was booked for 11am and we obviously were driven by prince Phillips best friend as the 25 minute journey in traffic was enhanced with photos of our taxi driver serving his dinner in 1979 at some royal palace in Singapore, obviously was a success as he's now a taxi driver!  We arrived at the warehouse to be greeted by the most inpatient bunch of competitors all jostling to get out as soon as possible to get back to,the bar for clearly well deserved drinks! Having sweated pro furiously for two hours we suddenly got a call to go rescue a chavelle thingy from the side of the road, a couple of hours working on the overrsized 70s pimp mobile we finally arrived at raffles to be greeted by a pair of women who's car wasn't 'quite' right so I set about checking this and that and apart from a bulb gone out they were happy that the next day could be spent massaging/sunbathing or some other rally prep activity!!

And we were finished for the day so as promised a trip over to raffles to buy my date for the evening Jim a singapore sling, so 2 Singapore slings and 2 beers were duly bought,

$120 dollars for four drinks put pay to our getting drunk at raffles so we headed off for our dinner, How Much for a self cooked bbq you ask?  Only a meagre $270 for Owen and I and we are now cleared out of money in this overpriced, expensive, extortionate place they call Singapore, even Owen had to go to the cash point twice today! Me only once.  The evening ended at a bar with the entertainment on offer being a pock marked female singer belting out mustang Sally quite well accompanied by Owen busting his moves with one of the doctors until the beer money ran out and we headed home!

Little pissed now but a have a room to myself so a good night beckons, cheerio

Not finished yet!

I know you are all on the edge of your seats, bit amazingly the taxi only cost, $55! A lot cheaper than the round Jamie has just bought in Raffles! A bit of money saving might be in order....for the rest of the trip!

A very royal taxi driver!

   The bus to the cars came, filled up and went without us. This gave us the unique opportunity to get a

taxi from the Raffles taxi rank. How much? Tony asked. I am the best taxi driver in Singapore he replied. Naturally we got in then. No more mention of money! 

   He then proceeded to show us pictures of the various royals he had met over the years. Prince Phillip seemed to be his favourite, and he was pictured serving him wine in 1976. 

   His next announcement was that this was the most luxurious taxi in Singapore. Still no mention of money! We are worried now. Well Tony was, as he was paying, although he had only been given $50.

   To be fair it was a very nice taxi! Although not as well kitted out as the one I got from the airport.

   

First blog lesson learned!

Don't post a photo before finishing the entry!

Jamie will no doubt fill you in on the finer details, but a brief summary:

Ed is larking about, Chris is laughing, Jim is talking to everyone, Tony is talking about bikes, John is serious, Jill is smiling, Skippy is drinking coke, George is flirting with everyone, Anthony is looking on knowingly, Nikki needs a fag, Phillip is talking about past greats, the doctors are looking cool, Jamie needs a fag, Paul and Julie are in love, Jim has a beard, Paul H has a red wine smile, Chris B is looking very relaxed, all is well with the team.

At the garage! Excited, nervous.

So, the day has finally come! The garage was alive with the excitement of our adventure? It is work, we  keep saying! Dennis has resigned himself to a month of looking out of the window.

Day 1, G&Ts again!

An early morning awakening was inevitable, the excitement has been mounting for weeks, the bags have been packed for six days with clothing purchased, a massive amount of insect repellant, rabies jabs done and malaria tablets found!  Ed was duly collected from his house whereupon I found a flapping Rutherford who admitted to being grumpy for the past few days, this explains why Amanda wasn't there to see him off!  The taxi was booked from TMS at 3.30 pm ready to transport myself, Owen, Jim and Ed to the coffee shop at terminal 5, Martins daughter was ready to dish out phones, folders and other mysterious packages, so total lies all round when the baggage staff asked "did you pack your own bags sir?" And "have you left your bag unattended at all sir?"  The correct answers should have been; "I'm carrying the bag for someone else!" And I "yes it's been unattended but not by me but someone else!"  After the hold luggage had been dropped off with some dubious contents namely a 'nut GUN,' and a gun shaped drill (expecting a private security meeting in Singapore!) we headed off for BAs club world lounge for some food and drink.  One packet of sweet chilli crisps, 2 beers, one whiskey and a cheeky couple of sauvignons we were ready for embarkation, a rush down to the transit train thingy and apart from a little mischievous antics from Jim Smitt we arrived at the 747 for the allocated seats and mass of alcohol waiting for us, oh along with the chicken stir fry and salmon  for dinner!

Once we've taken off and a mild bit of turbulence its not long until the alcohol is served, I'm currently on my 5th glass of champagne after the 2 obligatory glasses of G&TS!  Immediately the seatbelt lights went off I needed a slash but Jim had had an accident with his du bonnet and left a wet patch on the floor of which I did my best effort to mop up with my socks, so on with the complimentary flight socks for dry feet, no sooner where these on did we experience another turbulent episode where my 2nd G&T landed on my freshly adoned socks, I'm now on my 3rd pair of socks with Owen kindly lending me his flight socks, I've now just taken a break from writing this blog to have my post dinner pee and with all the excitement I'd forgotten about Jims earlier accident, so I'm contemplating asking the lady next to me for her socks, I think I could swing this!

After a couple of failed attempts at sleeping I've watched a brace of terrible movies, broken the base of my bed and lost a game of cards to the office girly!  We should be landing in about half an hour and then the big sweat begins!

And we've arrived!  But!!

Right that's it, going home!

Nikki Bannister was feeling a bit lonely on the flight due to Kim not being with her on this jaunt, imagine her total amazement when Kim was there to meet her at the airport,  such a lovely man!

Not sure who's doing the BeeGee impression in the background, good work whoever you are?

More to come

Jamie and Owen

Before the off!

Here we go again!!  We've been lucky enough to be asked by ERA to be a part of the team going out to Singapore to sweep for the guys and girls taking part in the Road to Mandalay rally starting on the 1st of February this year!  Excitement is mounting in the Turner camp as Owen and I prepare ourselves for another long distance drive across Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand and Burma, sorry Myanmar as Emma keeps reminding me hopefully finishing in Rangoon, sorry Yangon by the end of the month having tried our best to fix the old snotters we come across at the side of the roads!

Owen and I were so pleased to be asked by Phillip and his team at ERA again after doing our best on the Peking to Paris rally in 2013 and over the past few months have been getting ourselves ready for another adventure, this time there won't be the aged Land Rover as the service truck but ERA have loaned us one of their new Toyotas for the task, the Hilux has all been kitted out to our spec so we should have lots more tools and bits for the jobs in hand!  Even got more space for more clothes so we shouldn't be as grubby at dinner as we were on the Peking to Paris rally!

So here it is almost finished, now it's somewhere between England and Singapore waiting for us to set about doing what we love doing!

Now, on the last blog I did I had a special section for Dick Hall documenting his antics through Europe but it doesn't seem fair to pick on him again for this one so I've compiled a shortlist of some of the organisation members to fill this gap!

Jim Smith, the stereotypical Englishman whom I've known for many many years, he is my favourite!

George Clark, my illustrious rallying partner with whom we've had great success over the past few years, possibly know a little bit too much about her!  (Big white telephone!)

Skippy, possibly my favourite person at the moment, not sure the antics will flow from him as his diet is purely coca cola and fried chicken so it'll be a bit difficult to describe (lie) his drunken misdemeanours!

So who's it going to be?  I'll await feedback and make my desicion by the time the first post goes out on the 28th, may I wish all the competitors and organisation the absolute best of luck and cheers for dragging us along.

Owen and Jamie

We look forward to seeing you out there, Jamie and Owen.